


Creative Naming Solutions

by believesinponds



Series: OMGCP Dream Daddy Verse [2]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: (third person POV), F/M, M/M, Multi, Naming the Baby, honestly this is mostly just silly :), non-graphic pregnancy and birth, past truth or dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-07 03:03:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14071521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/believesinponds/pseuds/believesinponds
Summary: Years ago, Kent agreed to a dare. Now Lardo is paying the price.[Can easily be read as standalone!]





	Creative Naming Solutions

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Lardo Week!!!! This is for Day 2: Favorite Ship(s). It also incorporates the mini-prompt: Truth or Dare.

Lardo’s arms were crossed over their chest and Kent was looking at them sheepishly.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Kent Parson?”

“I’m sorry! It was a long time ago!”

Shitty laughed from the couch.

“Shut it, Shits!” Kent sent him a glare. “This is serious business.”

“Is it? Because it sounds fucking hilarious from over here.”

Lardo let out a long breath and fell onto the couch next to Shitty. “I’m not doing it.”

“Babe.” Kent kneeled in front of them, hands on their slightly rounded stomach. “Please. We have to do it. We can pick a normal name, it doesn’t have to be, like, Evgeni or something.”

“Kent Parson, I am not naming my firstborn after a goddamn hockey player. It’s not happening.”

Kent pouted. “But if we don’t I’m gonna have to do the alternate dare!”

“Then do the alternate dare! Jesus Christ, Parson, I can’t deal with you right now. Go over to Jack’s or something.”

“You better listen to them, Parse. Pregnancy is no joke. They could go crazy on you any minute now, chop off your goods.”

“My goods are silicone, dumbass.”

“Still. It’s the principle.”

“Parse. Get out of here. Now.”

“Fine. Sorry, babe.” He sent a look to Shitty that said  _ work on them, please! _

Shitty shrugged.

~

“But if you don’t do it you’ll have to do the alternate dare!” Jack said, eyes wide with horror.

“I know! That’s what I tried telling them!”

“Kenny, you can’t get a tattoo of the commissioner fucking the Stanley Cup. That’s...it’s like blasphemy or something.”

“No shit. Try telling that to Lardo, though.”

Jack ran a hand through his hair. “Okay. We can make this work. We just have to be smart about it.”

“Right. Smart. How do we be smart about it?”

Jack bit his lip, frowning down at his bouncing knee, and then he jumped. “I’ve got it!”

~

Kent let the name thing drop. He waited on Lardo as they grew bigger and resolutely did not bring it up again. They seemed to think that he had given up on it.

“I was thinking,” Kent said one day, pouring a glass of orange juice. “Maybe we should name them after somebody in the family.”

Lardo hummed around their Toaster Strudel. “That’s a good idea, babe. I like it when names are meaningful.”

Kent nodded.

Lardo kicked him gently under the table, a soft smile on their face. “Did you have someone in mind?”

He shrugged. “I mean. You know my dad was never really in the picture, so he’s out. And I’m not saddling anyone with my mother’s name.”

Lardo shuddered. “Hell no.”

“Jack isn’t gonna have any more kids after all the shit with Val, and. Well. I always thought of Bob as a father, honestly.”

“You want to name our kid Bad Bob.”

Kent snorted. “I was thinking Robert. But Bad Bob would be kinda cool.”

Lardo rolled their eyes. “You’re an asshole.”

“Love you too, babe.”

“Robert, though. That’s a nice name. We could call him Robby for short.”

“Yeah. I like that.”

Lardo nodded slowly. “Robert. Hmm. I’ll definitely think about it.”

Kent kissed their cheek. “Thanks, babe.”

~

“Everyone.” Kent held his newborn baby up for their friends to see. “Meet Robert Parson.”

Bob looked like he was going to cry. Shitty took the baby from Kent’s arms and cooed over him with Jack. Holster and Tater stood back a little, giving the immediate family some space while still admiring the new little addition.

“Does he have a middle name?” Holster asked.

“Minh,” Lardo said, smiling at their own father. “After my grandfather.”

“Is sweet name for sweet baby,” Tater said, his arm around Holster.

“Thanks, Tates,” Lardo murmured. They yawned loudly and looked over to Kent and Shitty. “‘M tired.”

The dads nodded. “Get some rest, baby,” Kent kissed their forehead. “We’ll take Robby back to the nursery.”

They yawned again and nodded. “Thanks for coming, everyone.”

“Of course, Lards.” Jack leaned down and kissed their forehead, too. “We’ve got a whole rotation set up for dinners this week, so you guys just relax and recover and we’ll take care of everything.”

Lardo squeezed his hand. “You’re the best metamour an enby could ask for, Jack.”

He laughed. “I do what I can. And--” he held up his camera “--I’ll go get these developed today so we can show him off to all the kids. Lucien was particularly excited to hear that he was getting a little brother.”

“Thanks, Jack.” Lardo smiled sleepily. “I can’t wait to see them.”

They all filed out quietly, Kent and Shitty ushering them through the door, and Lardo let themself fall asleep, knowing their little baby was well taken care of.

~

It was three weeks later that Lardo finally realized. The baby was sleeping in the bedroom, the monitor silent. Kent was upstairs taking a shower. Lardo grabbed the mail from the mailbox and sifted through, smiling when they found a large envelope from the county.

The baby’s birth certificate.

They slid the envelope open and ran a finger over the bumpy state seal.

Robert Minh Parson.

It was beautiful. They loved that their little baby was named after people who were so important to them. Their grandpa was a key figure in their childhood and Bad Bob practically raised Kent as a teenager, acting as a support when Kent first started in the NHL, helping him out and teaching him things that only an insider would know.

An insider.

As in, someone who had also been in the NHL.

A hockey player.

“Kent Villanueva Parson!” Lardo threw the mail on the counter and stormed up the stairs, shouting, “You are  _ so dead! _ ”

The baby started crying and they felt bad for waking him, but he would be okay.

First they had a husband to deal with.


End file.
